He let go of my hair and face and pushed me up against the hallway wall. His hands were all over me, like he couldn’t decide what to touch first. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer; I pressed my hips to his.
“Oh God, Lena, don’t do that.”
“I want to do that”
He stopped and pulled away from me. He looked down at me. Searching for an answer, searching my face for a reason not to keep going. There was no reason. I wanted to keep going. I wanted Kellen like I’d wanted him for that past seven years.
“I want you” I said in barely a whisper.
He stared at me for a second longer and banged his fist on the wall behind my head then grabbed my hand and led me to my room.
He swung me around and pulled me to him which was good because I almost fell over with the force at which he yanked me. His lips were on mine again. This wasn’t the soft kiss he’d given me after Prom, this was a serious, no holds barred kiss. His tongue was in my mouth, caressing mine. I grabbed his hips to steady myself. I was kissing Kellen, Kellen was kissing me. What was a doing? I didn’t care. I wanted this. I slipped my hands around to his belt buckle and started unbuckling it. I pulled the button open and yanked down the zipper as he pulled my shirt over my head.
“Holy crap Len, what are you wearing?” I looked down and say my black lace bra. Oh, yeah, I forgot I had that on. I’d actually worn sexy lingerie the whole week in sad hopes that something would happen. I was a little embarrassed and my cheeks flushed. He sat down on the bed and stuck his finger down the front of my pants and pulled me too him. He placed his hand on my hips and kissed my stomach. He flicked his tongue in my belly button and I giggled. He chuckled as well. I undid the button to my jeans and slipped them off showing of matching lace panties.
“Oh Helena” was all he said before he stood up pulling his shirt and boxers off in one swift motion and tossing me on the bed. He ripped my panties off and was inside me before I knew what was happening.
“OH!” I cried.
I felt like was going to explode. He kissed my mouth, his hands running all over my body and he was going in and out and such a pace that if didn’t slow him down, I’d come undone quickly.
“Slow down” I moaned in his mouth.
“Slow down” I moaned in his mouth.
He moved his kisses down to my neck and to my ear. “I don’t want to slow down. I want to feel every inch of you; I want to feel you explode around me. I’ve wanted you for so long, I’m not stopping now.”
He nibbled my ear and I bucked my hips into him. I felt him again, sliding in and out. His kisses on my neck, his one hand pinning my arms above my head the other holding himself up so he wouldn’t crush me. We’d found a rhythm and we weren’t stopping. I was on the edge and so was he.
“KEL!” I cried out and seconds later “Helena” was breathed softly into my ear as I felt him explode into me. He released my hands and pulled me to him. We didn’t speak. He just held me and I held onto him waiting for my body to calm it’s self.
I must have fallen asleep in his arms, but when I woke up the bed was empty. I sat up and looked around.
“I’m here Lena.” I heard him say in the dark. I looked over to the wall of windows and he was standing with one arm up, leaning against the window with his forehead pressed to the glass. He’d put on a pair of sweatpants we’d bought the day he came. I found it silly that he needed a pair since he was just staying a week. I knew he slept in boxers and there was just no need for them.
He turned around and walked over to the end of the bed. He crawled up to me and kissed me, not quickly, but it didn’t last long enough.
“What are we doing Len? Why now?”
“I….I don’t know.” I stammered in reply.
“Who started it?”
Why was that important? “I don’t know…”
“Well, do you know anything Helena?”
Ouch, that hurt. I pulled the blankets up higher and ducked out of way. I scooted over to the edge of the bed and pulled the sheets with me.
“Len, I’m sorry. Wait.”
I stopped and looked at him. Waiting.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m confused. I’m a little hurt and I don’t know what to think of last night.”
I stood there silently. I had nothing to say. I felt the same way. “Did you like it? Was it good?” why did I was that?
“He looked up at me. His eyes were sad. “It was the best night of my life.”
I bowed my head and nodded and walked into my bathroom. I walked into the shower, closed the door and cried until I had no more tears. I cleaned myself up and walked back into the bedroom. Kellen wasn’t there but I could hear the shower running in the guest bathroom. I thought for a moment that he might be doing the same thing I’d just done, but I convinced myself that that was stupid. I got dressed and headed for the kitchen for breakfast.
A few minutes later I heard the shower turn off and I saw Kellen walk across the hall to his bedroom. He glanced up at me and his eyes were red. I looked away quickly and pulled a frozen breakfast casserole out of the freezer and put it in the oven I’d preheated.
Thirty minutes later Kellen walked out of the bedroom. He had his new suitcase in one hand and his carryon in the other. I must have had a look on my face because Kellen said
“Don’t look so shocked. I can’t stay here anymore. Helena, what we did last night was amazing. I want to do it again and again with you for the rest of my life, but you are marrying Lucas, and I know you love him and he loves you.”
I fought back tears in my eyes, and I could see he was doing the same.
“Lena, don’t cry for me. This was my fault. I should have pursued you sooner and we got carried away last night.”
Carried away, yes, that’s what happened. I took a deep breath and looked up at him. He turned and walked to the door and set his bags down. I walked over to him as he pulled something out of his pocket. It was my ripped panties.
“I’m going to keep these. I don’t think you can wear them anymore anyway”
My heart skipped a couple beats and I inhaled sharply. Kellen grabbed my face and kissed me fiercely. I held on to his waist and kissed him back. I knew he wouldn’t be coming back to ski next year. This is probably this last time I’d see him until the wedding.
He pulled away too soon and looked at me.
“Goodbye Helena” was all he said. He turned away, picked up his bags and walked out the door and out of my life.