Monday, March 23, 2015

Apocalypse Breakfast!!!

Hello again! I'm going to post all of today's meals right now. Have fun watching them all! Today's breakfast was End of the World Biscuits and Gravy. I accidentally cooked them for too long but they turned out great. Sterling approved them so they go in the keep pile.

PLEASE excuse the noise in the second video. Next time I will move the phone farther away from the cook top. I don't even know what I said during the noisy part, but its worth it to stick around to the end. I tell a fun story about my friend Margaret.
The first video quit recording halfway through so that's why there are two. The last video is the taste test!

Thanks for watching!!!

Introduction to Apocalypse Food

Hello friends,
I haven't written a blog post in a while. A long while. But I'm back! And with a fun new topic! The Apocalypse!
My husband's grandmother sent up 15 crates of freeze dried food in case of a catastrophic event.
Yeah. That's a lot of food. And this was taken after I'd emptied a few totes. 
As I was emptying them last night, I was talking to my friend Michelle (Author of That Summer) and I came up with the idea that maybe I should try some of this food. Then I thought maybe I could blog about it. So here I am. Blogging. I've made some videos too. 
I'm totally new at this and have no idea what I'm actually doing. So, I'll post the videos and you can watch and enjoy. Ask questions if you want...
This is supposed to be fun. I don't really believe that there is an apocalypse looming on the horizon or anything. 
Okay. So, here is a video! This is an overview of what we have. 

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

The new me!

I'm writing a book. It's going to be published early April of this year!  I'm super excited about it.  It's been a long process but I decided I wanted to be a published author before I turned 30 (which is in 3 months!).  I've been writing intentionally now for the past two years and I finally decided to make something of it.  I guess I've always wanted to write, I just never thought I could.  But thanks to a small group of friends who have encouraged me to make it happen it finally is! I'll be updated this blog more often now with more short stories and excerpts from my book and any up coming books I might have.

My first book is called We Were Us and it's a sweet little love story between Josh and Jenna. Here's the blurb:

When Jenna returns to the small town she was forced to leave over a year ago after her drug dealing mother was found in bed with the mayor, she wasn’t sure what to expect.  She is perfectly content waiting out the summer alone until she can return to college in the fall.     
What she doesn’t expect was to rekindle her relationship with Josh.
Josh doesn’t judge her like everyone else does and never did.  He gets her.  When he shows up at her door every night just to see her, Jenna opens up to him like she’d never been able to before.  And the more time she spends with him, the more she realizes she is falling for him. 

When someone in town spots the two of them together, rumors fly and her already uncomfortable existence in the town takes a turn for the worse.  Jenna realizes she’ll never belong here and decides to leave and never look back.  Josh convinces her to stay because there is something that she doesn’t know--something that could change everything. 

And here's the cover done by Cover to Cover Designs.

I have another book planned for this year so I hope I can get everything done!  

Stay tuned for more fun and exciting stuff from me!

Monday, February 4, 2013

The Slopes Part 2

Part 2
He let go of my hair and face and pushed me up against the hallway wall. His hands were all over me, like he couldn’t decide what to touch first. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer; I pressed my hips to his.
“Oh God, Lena, don’t do that.”
“I want to do that”
He stopped and pulled away from me. He looked down at me. Searching for an answer, searching my face for a reason not to keep going. There was no reason. I wanted to keep going. I wanted Kellen like I’d wanted him for that past seven years.
“I want you” I said in barely a whisper.
He stared at me for a second longer and banged his fist on the wall behind my head then grabbed my hand and led me to my room.
He swung me around and pulled me to him which was good because I almost fell over with the force at which he yanked me. His lips were on mine again. This wasn’t the soft kiss he’d given me after Prom, this was a serious, no holds barred kiss. His tongue was in my mouth, caressing mine. I grabbed his hips to steady myself. I was kissing Kellen, Kellen was kissing me. What was a doing? I didn’t care. I wanted this. I slipped my hands around to his belt buckle and started unbuckling it. I pulled the button open and yanked down the zipper as he pulled my shirt over my head.
“Holy crap Len, what are you wearing?” I looked down and say my black lace bra. Oh, yeah, I forgot I had that on. I’d actually worn sexy lingerie the whole week in sad hopes that something would happen. I was a little embarrassed and my cheeks flushed. He sat down on the bed and stuck his finger down the front of my pants and pulled me too him. He placed his hand on my hips and kissed my stomach. He flicked his tongue in my belly button and I giggled. He chuckled as well. I undid the button to my jeans and slipped them off showing of matching lace panties.
“Oh Helena” was all he said before he stood up pulling his shirt and boxers off in one swift motion and tossing me on the bed. He ripped my panties off and was inside me before I knew what was happening.
“OH!” I cried.
I felt like was going to explode. He kissed my mouth, his hands running all over my body and he was going in and out and such a pace that if didn’t slow him down, I’d come undone quickly.
“Slow down” I moaned in his mouth.
He moved his kisses down to my neck and to my ear. “I don’t want to slow down. I want to feel every inch of you; I want to feel you explode around me. I’ve wanted you for so long, I’m not stopping now.”
He nibbled my ear and I bucked my hips into him. I felt him again, sliding in and out. His kisses on my neck, his one hand pinning my arms above my head the other holding himself up so he wouldn’t crush me. We’d found a rhythm and we weren’t stopping. I was on the edge and so was he.
“KEL!” I cried out and seconds later “Helena” was breathed softly into my ear as I felt him explode into me. He released my hands and pulled me to him. We didn’t speak. He just held me and I held onto him waiting for my body to calm it’s self.
I must have fallen asleep in his arms, but when I woke up the bed was empty. I sat up and looked around.
“I’m here Lena.” I heard him say in the dark. I looked over to the wall of windows and he was standing with one arm up, leaning against the window with his forehead pressed to the glass. He’d put on a pair of sweatpants we’d bought the day he came. I found it silly that he needed a pair since he was just staying a week. I knew he slept in boxers and there was just no need for them.
He turned around and walked over to the end of the bed. He crawled up to me and kissed me, not quickly, but it didn’t last long enough.
“What are we doing Len? Why now?”
“I….I don’t know.” I stammered in reply.
“Who started it?”
Why was that important? “I don’t know…”
“Well, do you know anything Helena?”
Ouch, that hurt. I pulled the blankets up higher and ducked out of way. I scooted over to the edge of the bed and pulled the sheets with me.
“Len, I’m sorry. Wait.”
I stopped and looked at him. Waiting.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m confused. I’m a little hurt and I don’t know what to think of last night.”
I stood there silently. I had nothing to say. I felt the same way.  “Did you like it? Was it good?” why did I was that?
“He looked up at me. His eyes were sad. “It was the best night of my life.”
I bowed my head and nodded and walked into my bathroom. I walked into the shower, closed the door and cried until I had no more tears. I cleaned myself up and walked back into the bedroom. Kellen wasn’t there but I could hear the shower running in the guest bathroom. I thought for a moment that he might be doing the same thing I’d just done, but I convinced myself that that was stupid. I got dressed and headed for the kitchen for breakfast.
A few minutes later I heard the shower turn off and I saw Kellen walk across the hall to his bedroom. He glanced up at me and his eyes were red. I looked away quickly and pulled a frozen breakfast casserole out of the freezer and put it in the oven I’d preheated.
Thirty minutes later Kellen walked out of the bedroom. He had his new suitcase in one hand and his carryon in the other. I must have had a look on my face because Kellen said
“Don’t look so shocked. I can’t stay here anymore. Helena, what we did last night was amazing. I want to do it again and again with you for the rest of my life, but you are marrying Lucas, and I know you love him and he loves you.”
I fought back tears in my eyes, and I could see he was doing the same.
“Lena, don’t cry for me. This was my fault. I should have pursued you sooner and we got carried away last night.”
Carried away, yes, that’s what happened. I took a deep breath and looked up at him. He turned and walked to the door and set his bags down.  I walked over to him as he pulled something out of his pocket. It was my ripped panties.
“I’m going to keep these. I don’t think you can wear them anymore anyway”
My heart skipped a couple beats and I inhaled sharply. Kellen grabbed my face and kissed me fiercely. I held on to his waist and kissed him back. I knew he wouldn’t be coming back to ski next year. This is probably this last time I’d see him until the wedding.
He pulled away too soon and looked at me.
“Goodbye Helena” was all he said. He turned away, picked up his bags and walked out the door and out of my life. 

The Slopes Part 1.

I pace back and forth and all around my small condo. He should be here by now, I thought. Kellen’s plane landed six hours ago and it’s only a four hour drive from Denver to Aspen. Even with the snow, it shouldn't take this long to get here. I picked up the pillow I’d tossed on the floor earlier and placed it back on the chair. I glanced at the clock again and then over to one of the pictures on the side table. It was of Kellen and me on the slopes a couple years ago. I wore black snow pants and a hot pink coat and ski goggles. Kellen had picked out the coat saying that a girl should never wear all black. I hated pink, but I let him buy it because he was Kellen and once he made up his mind, you didn't question his motives. I still have the coat and goggles, but I only wear them when he’s here. 
                My phone rings and pulls me from the thoughts.
“Hey Lena, It’s Kellen. I’m about an hour away. My luggage was lost and I had to fill out reports and stuff. Should I stop for lunch or do you have something amazing waiting for me?”
Kellen thinks I can cook. Nope. I pre-order food and keep it in the freezer and prepare it while he’s here to impress him while he’s here. I usually eat out every meal or eat cereal or toast, something I can’t ruin. It’s not like we’ll be getting married and he’ll discover my secret.
“No, just come here and we’ll go out. We can eat and get you some new clothes and gear” I say.
“Ok Len. See you soon, bye”
“Bye”, but he’s already hung up.
Ok, an hour. What to do in an hour. I call Mike at The Shack to let him know Kellen and I will be there in an hour and have our usual ready.
I sure love living here. My condo is small. Its big enough for two people, but small enough to feel cozy when a snow storm is raging outside. Being a ski instructor and the resort pays more than enough to cover all my bills and then some. And the private lessons I teach allow me to save and have extra money for whatever I may want.
I turned a slow circle in my living room and took in the small space. A mocha colored, squashy love seat and an oversized chair fill the room and are covered with an array of multi-colored pillows and throws. Side tables and an ottoman offer place to set drinks down when I entertain guests. A large flat screen TV I bought for Christmas this year sits opposite the chair. I don’t watch it much, choosing to read most nights instead. Off to the left is the dining room. A cherry wood, high top table sits under a modern looking chandelier that came with the condo. And just beyond the dining room is my yellow kitchen. It has no windows so I painted it yellow and installed white cabinets and appliances. Everyone thinks it's ugly, but it works for me. My bedroom is down the hall from the kitchen to the left. It’s a huge room with an en suite bathroom, floor to ceiling windows with a view of them mountains, and a walk in closet that is stuffed with clothing I never wear. When friends come they want to shop, so I shop too. The king sized bed sits in the middle of the room. I have no idea why I bought a king sized but, but I did and I love it.
Gathering my thoughts I sit down on the chair and look over again at the pictures on the side table. Next to the one of Kellen and me in our snow gear is a small picture in a silver frame of us at my High School Prom. I smiled sadly as I remember that night.
I wore knee length, black, velveteen dress with hot pink ribbon piping around the edges that spun when I twirled. I knew this because Kellen twirled me many times on the dance floor that night. In the picture, Kellen is smiling smugly. We’d had to take the picture three times. The first time Kellen stuck his tongue out. The second time, he’d dipped me backwards and pretended to kiss me and finally the photographer said that the next picture would be the last one so make it good. It was a good picture. But it reminded me that Kellen never took our relationship seriously. It was probably my fault. We almost didn't make it to Prom. He’d already graduated the year before and didn't think he wants to show up again. When he told me this, I’d called a mutual friend and cried and cried. She called him as soon as we hung up and gave her a piece of her mind. He called me back and apologized. He hadn't wanted me to cry and agreed to take me to my Prom. We were best friends and he wanted me to have a good time. We were best friends. I’d always call him anytime I’d break up with my boyfriend and he’d threaten to kick asses. He protected me. Thinking back on all the times I’d called him made me realize that I was the one who ruined any kind of relationship Kellen and I could have had. I’d over looked him to many times as a possible boyfriend for him to make any kind of move. But, I’d had a nasty break up right before Prom and Kellen had stepped in again as my trusty stand by.
The night was almost perfect. We ate, we danced, and we partied after. He’d even kissed me when he dropped me off at home. I was almost perfect, but it was also the night I realized I loved Kellen and he didn't love me back.
It’s been 7 years since Prom night. Seven years of steadily declining phone calls between the two of us, seven years of boyfriends and girlfriends come and gone. Seven years schooling, jobs, moves, and countless other distractions.
Somehow the two of us decided to go skiing together in Aspen the Christmas I graduated high school. We skied the week the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day. We stayed at my parents’ condo and invited a few friends to join us. We all had a great time and we made it a tradition for the next few years. Slowly though, friends got married or had kids or moved away until it was just Kellen and me for the last couple years. Somewhere in there I decided to stay in Aspen. I transferred to the University of Denver, finished school there and moved to Aspen and became a ski instructor. This year would be the same. Just Kellen and me, alone in the condo, skiing, shopping and eating for a week.
A knock at the door drew me out of my trip down memory lane.
I opened the door and Kellen walked in with just his carry-on bag. He dropped it in the doorway and made his way to me and wrapped his arms around me in a hug. He buried his face in my hair and I allowed myself to hug him back. I inhaled deeply and his familiar smell of cologne filled my senses. He smelled so good. Fresh and sweet like mountain air. I should now what mountain air smells like since i'm on one every day. 
 He let go and said “let’s go eat.”
“Are we going to Mike’s?” He asked as I turned down the street to the shopping/dining district.
“Yes, I called after you called me. They’ll have our usual ready for us”
The rest of the drive to The Meatball Shack was quiet. Usually we talk about what has happened over the past year. Our dinner was also quiet. Our food was at the table when we arrived and the waitress brought us our favorite dessert. After dinner we headed over to some clothing stores to see what we could get for him as far as clothing.
“I actually didn't bring my skis and gear. It was too expensive to fly with them so I figured I’d just rent. Good thing, huh?”
“Oh yeah, good thing. It would have been terrible to lose all that.”
Kellen loved shopping. He was kind of like a girl. He modeled his choices for me in the dressing room and I gave thumbs up or thumb down. I think he ended up buying everything anyway. Once we finished it was almost dinner time. We’d been shopping for hours.
“Let’s grab some Chinese takeout and eat at home tonight” I suggested
“Sounds good, I’ll run in and grab some if you want to keep the car warm”
We made t home and I turned the oven on to keep the food warm while Kellen put his clothes away and set up in the spare room. I was setting the table when he came out.
“Mmmm, smells good.”
“Yeah, I love Chinese. I don’t eat it very often”
We sat down and started eating. I prayed it wouldn't be a silent meal like lunch had been. I wracked my brain for something to talk about.
“So what time do you want to hit the slopes tomorrow?” He asked
“Oh, um, as early as you want. I have no lessons scheduled. I’m all yours this week” I said with a little smile.
He sat back and stared at me with a serious look in his eyes. “Where’s Lucas?”
“He’s on a business trip in New York until after the first of the year.” I was a little nervous.
Kellen leaned forward again and rested his elbows on the table and lifted his fork full of food to his mouth. Before he took a bite, he looked up at mean with what I can only describe as a gleam in his eye and said “fantastic”.
The next morning, we woke up, ate some breakfast then headed down to the ski lodge to rent some skis.
“Hey, you still have the pink coat I bought you! And the goggles! Do you like pink now?”
“Ha-ha, um, no. I don’t really. I just know you like it when I wear it.”
“I do like you in pink”
I just blushed and looked away. Was he flirting with me? He knows he shouldn’t be doing that. He knows I’ve liked him for years, but neither of us could make it work. I walked out of the lodge and started getting my gear together and headed to the ski lift. He followed me out. He was quiet. We put on our skis and waited for the chair lift to pick us up. The cool mountain air was refreshing. It helped me clear my head. I loved looking out over the snow capped mountains and breathing in the crisp clean air. It was calm and quiet up here. The snow deadened all sounds. Occasionally you’d hear a skier yell or something, but for the most part there was silence.
We spent the whole day on the slopes. He wanted to start small but eventually we were back to racing each other down the hills and taking turns down the steeper runs. The next few days were much of the same. Skiing all day long, breaking only for food and to warm up with coffee or hot coco. In the evenings we’d return home and we’d eat then watch some show on the TV. Usually I’d read then go to my room and try to sleep only to start reminiscing and or thinking about what Kellen and I could have been. It was getting quite ridiculous. I made myself blush on more than one occasion.
The week was coming to an end. We’d skied, shopped at almost every store and eaten at almost every restaurant. There had been no more flirting incidents. I’m not even sure he was flirting; maybe he was just saying he liked it when I wore pink. But then there was the way he said “fantastic” at dinner on the first day after asking where Lucas was.
We sat in the living room watching TV, some crime show.  I was contemplating taking a shower and then heading to bed. I stood up from the loveseat and crossed the room, still not sure what I wanted to do.
“So, how’s the wedding planning going” Kellen asked without taking his eyes off the TV.
I did not want to talk about the wedding. I had procrastinated and even changed the date 3 times.
“Umm, it’s good, still deciding on a date.”
“Do you have your dress picked out?”
“Is it here?”
“Can I see you in it?”
“What? Why?”  Why did he want to see me in my wedding dress? He’s invited to the wedding.
“I don’t know. I’m bored and I want to see you dressed up. Hey, do you remember Prom? I loved you in that dress. That was a great night.”
Why was he bringing up Prom? This was odd.
“Sure. Yes. I remember Prom. It was a fun night. I liked the end.”
“When I kissed you?”
“Yes” my voice faltered. Kellen stood up from the loveseat and walked over to me. He put his hand on my cheek. I leaned into it and he moved his hand into my hair.
“Why haven’t you set a date for your wedding yet, Helena?”
He never called me Helena. It was always Lena or Len. He put his other hand on my face and tilted my head so I was looking into his eyes. Oh my, his blue eyes were fierce looking.
“I…um…I….I don’t know” I stumbled over my words. I couldn’t think of a reason. I couldn’t think of anything.
“Is it because of me? Is it because you can’t stop thinking of what we could have been? Because that’s all I think about, I keep coming here to ski with you hoping something will happen. Hoping I can make something happen. Damn it Lena!”
And he kissed me. Hard. 

the beginning

I have no idea what to blog about. I tried writing about my kids but it didn't feel right. Not that i don't love my kids, but it felt forced, like i was making myself blog about them. Then i tried writing about my workouts and weight loss but no one really wants to hear about that. it's boring. Even to me it's boring and i'm the one doing it! So i decided just to let the blog go go where it wants to. I'm doing so many things these days even though it feels like i do nothing. I read, i write, i play with my kids, i work, i love my husband ;), i run the house hold. I"m a fairly busy girl. I also decided to write a book this year. A friend of mine wrote a book and it's really good. (Her name is Erica Cope and the book is called Lark so go to good reads and mark it as 'to-read').
I've been wanting to write a book my whole life (well since i could write and discovered i was capable) but I never realized that i COULD write a book. I've started many storties, but I've always been derailed by the fact that it could take years and years to ever get published and may not even get published so all my hard work would have been wasted. Plus, i tend to be really hard on myself and i'm actually kind of a reserved person and i find it hard open myself up and let people see the real me. I feel that my writing is very personal (most people's writing is) and i tend to draw from my own experiences even though the stories don't end the way they might have in real life.
So, this blog maybe will be rambling and the posting stories (complete or not complete) from time to time. If you like it please follow, if not, then that's fine too :).

So, that's it for now. Here's a funny picture I took of an owl at my brother's house. :)